“Love that restrains isn’t love. It’s insecurity. We may tell others how we feel about something that they do or don’t do. We may make decisions as a reaction to other’s choices. That is our right and our responsibility. But to restrain another in the name of love doesn’t create love; it creates restraint.” Melody Beattie
Choose to be. In love, we choose everything. Having the freedom to be who we are. Being accepted for who we are. And being free simply means the other persons happiness is as important as your own.
Personally, I don’t understand non – attachment in relationships and I have figured, this is something I won’t be able to master in this lifetime. I tend to care so deeply that the loved one’s happiness becomes mine. When we find our soul-fit, we are not bound, and it is not perfect, and it is not about sacrifice, or begging, or turning into something we are not. It shouldn’t even feel like work – effort yes – but not a chore.
Let go of expectations of what you deserve and how you should be treated in a relationship. If you have to define it or spell it out something is not right. And I agree, people who love us are not telepathic – but if the person chooses to hold away or ignore things that are important to you – you have the freedom not to accept it.
Remove the knife that you hold to your own neck – don’t ask, don’t expect and know that love has to be given voluntarily as is commitment towards it. And it’s something that has to come from within – naturally – happily – without resentment and without grudges.
Respect your individualness, your uniqueness as a person. We don’t have to fit in a mould to be loved.