“Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex; but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.” ~Iyanla Vanzant
Moving on comes without the drums rolling or a grand announcement. No matter how much you try and put a date, it’s something you just can’t plan for. We naturally dislike change. It’s cumbersome, it’s new, it’s unfamiliar. So we compromise. Bad relationships, bad attitudes of our friends or staff. Even to the extent of being emotionally manipulated by our parents. We are creatures of habit and change requires effort. It is hard to put down boundaries with people who are close to us – but understanding that boundaries are essential is a key to good relationships.
When you have moved on, there will no flags waving announcing it’s arrival but you’ll notice that you sleep deeper and actually feel rested on being awake. The constant dull ache is no longer there and doing things again does not seem like a huge task.
You also realise that you have made peace with the knowledge that you have to change if you have end the cycle you may have been forever stuck. You accept that you can’t force people to be there for you and understand what you want from the relationship is not enough – this knowledge in itself will set you free. Be it a toxic work area, toxic relationship or even a situation where you constantly feel undermined and worthless – the only change you can bring about is in you by accepting and moving on. Acceptance is a form of closure that you shouldn’t ignore.
Moving on is not about a new phase or a new page in a book – it’s the whole book.
Practice mindful awareness to release past patterns, conditioning of childhood, bad relationships and embrace the new. Moving on is not about marrying your memories – reminding yourself of how good it was – its about erasing the past, forgetting how he/she loved the grilled sandwich to thinking of them on their birthday and wondering whether to text them or not. It’s cutting your umbilical chord from your past.
Moving on is about loving freely, fiercely like you have never done before – without the reminders of your past.
Only then, would you have truly moved on.
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